Billie Eilish
My Future
Billie says her new single, a “really, really personal and special” song, was written over two days in lockdown with her brother Finneas during “a craaaazy amount of self-reflection and self-growth”, so just know that while you were busy repeat-watching Parks and Rec and putting off Couch to 5k, Billie was writing this beautiful, haunting lullaby. Bet her banana bread is rubbish, though.
Ava Max
Who’s Laughing Now
If you’re the one person waiting for Ava Max to bring out a sequel to 2018’s irritating earworm Sweet But Psycho, then good news: Who’s Laughing Now is basically the same song but with one horrible personality trait (psychotic) swapped with another (smug). If you’re one of the other 7.6 billion people on Earth, all you need to know is that Ava Max’s laugh in this song will go right through you like a week-old curry.
Action Bronson
Latin Grammys
Latin Grammys starts with a cowbell, ends with a dolphin call and makes absolutely no reference to the Latin Grammys – instead, Action Bronson insists: “I might not be able to touch my toes/ but I will still fuck these hoes.” Misogyny doesn’t get a pass when it rhymes, mate.
Sam Smith ft Burna Boy
My Oasis
My Oasis, sadly, isn’t a tribute to high-street shop Oasis. Although it is the kind of inoffensive, bland song you’d hear played in the changing rooms, soundtracking the bored boyfriends nodding “Yeah, really nice” at every combination of “jeans and a nice top” their partners are trying on ahead of a night out at All Bar One in Guildford.
Snakehips & Jess Glynne ft A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie & Davido
Lie for You
Thanks for coming to the official draw of the pop star tombola! Drum roll, please! This week’s random combination of artists will be … faceless dance duo Snakehips, restaurant shamer Jess Glynne, rapper A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie and Afrobeats superstar Davido! To be honest, Jess does most of the heavy lifting on this track, while A Boogie rhymes “na na” with “rah rah”. Lie for You is very “will this do”. To be clear: it won’t.
