PICK OF THE WEEK

These New Puritans
Hologram (Angular)

Remember the frisson the first time you heard Bonkers, Get Ur Freak On, or Sour Times: otherworldly tunes which you instinctively knew could pummel pop round to their way of thinking? TNP are making a career out of such moments. What Hologram lacks in We Want War's attack synths, it makes up for in layers of piano and - yes! - bassoon. And, as if to reach out to Guardianistas of all ages, it even comes with a vocal-free mix that can only be described as "well Nyman".

ALSO OUT THIS WEEK

RPA & The United Nations Of Sound
Born Again (Parlophone)

Unkind critics have already enjoyed a belly laugh at how this vaults over the EU's lyrical cliche mountain. But Richard Ashcroft is capable of so much more than clunky couplets eulogising the rejuvenating power of music (again); he does musical cliches, too. There's the way he sings "aw yeah!" at the end of each line; a guitarist who switches from half-hearted Primals chugging to horrendous Paradise City wah-wah; and a big "nah nah nah" coda that's actually prefaced by an "altogether now!". Truly, this is the sound of a gauntlet being tossed down with the words, "Come on, Beady Eye, top this one for shitness!"

Diana Vickers
The Boy Who Murdered Love (Sony)

Aw, Diana Vickers; "little Diana from Bolton"; she had the world at her (bare) feet until she chose to do Dido that week on X Factor. Well she's only back and making perfectly serviceable disco-pop. All (Stuart) Pricey bass and earwormy chorus, she's gone from Little Voice to Little Boots in two years. And why not, eh? Better to be remembered for The Boy Who Murdered Love than as The Girl Who Murdered White Flag.

Jedward
All The Small Things (Absolute)

Seeing John and Edward sprint to either side of an enormodome amid the massed riffs and "nah nah nahs" of this Blink-182, erm, classic is enough to make you rub your eyes and imagine there's been a spillage in a laboratory somewhere and scientists have accidentally created two pint-sized, mutant Andrew WKs. For all we know there might be hundreds scuttling about, terrifying old ladies by jumping from behind their wheelie bins and bawling out Sum 41. Who can we call to clean up our streets, restore some of the old ways?

Swedish House Mafia Feat Pharrell
One (Your Name) (EMI)

… not these berks, that's for sure. They'll be too busy bodging together some stadium house with the most rudimentary melodies this side of 2 Unlimited. Even a moderately soulful vocal from Pharrell can't save this, which literally sounds like SHM are testing out every setting on their ludicrously expensive synths by bashing out the same cretinous non-riff. Readers of a certain vintage will have fond memories of doing much the same in Dixons of a Saturday on a Casio VL-Tone. And they were only £28.99.