For many thousands of people, the festive season begins not with a visit to Father Christmas or popping an angel atop a tinselled tree, but with an explosion of dry ice and Roman Kemp bellowing “Make some noise!” Yes, it’s the annual two-night pop-fest that is Capital Radio’s Jingle Bell Ball, fully powered by the baubles-out, have-another-one-for-Santa attitude of the crowd.
That energy is needed, as Covid outbreaks have meant some big-name cancellations: Coldplay on Saturday night, and Lil Nas X and Mabel on Sunday. Justin Bieber therefore has an extended set on Saturday, which he performs with aplomb and in a denim jacket so large he could have smuggled in several puppies. Sorry brings the house down, though it’s Lonely, with its straight-from-the heart lyrics, which is the highlight. In support is pop-house star Jax Jones, who always goes fully tinsel-tastic: in 2019, this meant roller-skating Christmas puddings; this year Jones is dressed as a Gucci Santa, surrounded by giant robots, his eerie-yet-catchy dance bangers bringing a frenzied audience reaction.
Sunday night feels makeshift in comparison, with less festive effort from the acts. Opener Joel Corry’s house has a bleak feel: nursery rhyme tunes, tinny vocals and adrenal rushes of beats feel cynical, no matter how often the ex-Geordie Shore star queries if “you guys are ready to go to the club” and someone bangs the glitter cannons. Pop queen Anne-Marie and her hard-working dancers offer some slick verve, and Friends’ “1-2-3-4-5-6000 times” chorus engages full-arena singing. KSI, now one of the biggest names in pop as well as YouTube, brings on Craig David and Ella Henderson, and the show lifts as his infectious delight is met with equal love from the audience. Griff is similarly pleased to be on the stage – she confesses to being in the JBB audience just two years ago, watching Taylor Swift – and, though her friendly chat is a little off-key for the event size, her three-song set showcases her powerful voice: warmer and more soulful than you’d expect from her cool singles.
After the break, two last-minute replacements are drafted in. A be-vested Tom Grennan sails through his four songs, big-voiced and upbeat, though his energy can’t make up for a lack of personality, even on the Calvin Harris-produced By Your Side. Brighton rapper ArrDee, a tiny Action Man in his army-patterned tracksuit, is a living firework, as he bounds through his innuendo-packed raps like a speedy southern Aitch. A “shall we nip to the loo now?” DJ session from Capital Xtra’s MistaJam, with Shane Codd, Nathan Dawe and Jonasu, brings the house down simply by playing a slowed, beat-driven All I Want for Christmas.
All fine, if slightly unmemorable. It is left to the veterans to show how pop should be done. The recently reformed JLS look small on the stage, without DJs or band, but proceed to swell the arena with good-time vibes. Snappy in black – head-to-toe leather for Aston Merrygold, a brave choice given his propensity for a standing somersault – the now thirtysomething boy band are slick, engaging and demonstrate the never-die appeal of correctly applied formation dancing: Everybody in Love ratchets up the atmosphere from “high sugar” to “ambulance on stand-by”.
Finally, Ed Sheeran. Even more pared-down than JLS, Sheeran performs his 10 songs with nothing more than loop pedals and guitar, though he brings on Anne-Marie for 2002, and a keyboardist for the final few hits. Like a slick primary school teacher, Sheeran tells us what he is doing (“Everything I play is live, and I just loop it here”) as well as what we are going to do. “These are sleigh bells,” he says, at the beginning of Merry Christmas, before teaching us the chorus. “You’re going to sing this,” he informs, “and at the end, you’re going to bounce.”
Promising “all killer, no filler”, he starts with Bloodstream, plays Thinking Out Loud as an uplifting festival anthem rather than a love song, and whips through Castle on the Hill, Perfect, Shape of You and onward. The crowd respond as one: mobile phones aloft, arms waving like pampas grass, full-throated hollering of every single word. A man more comfortable in his skin would be hard to imagine: Sheeran performs with such warmth and generosity, and with such nailed-on tunes, that – somewhat unbelievably – every single Jingle Beller leaves their Ball even more sloshed with Christmas spirit than when they arrived.
